Put Your Oxygen Mask on First: Self-care before helping others
- Gregory Sayer
- Jan 24, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 19
The recommendation to "put your oxygen mask on first" comes from the safety videos on airplanes. A parent should put their mask on before helping their child with their mask. This spirit of this expression is supported by research in child and adolescent psychiatry, indicating that parental wellness can drastically impact the wellness of their child. Tending to one's self-care before helping others isn't always easy, in every day life and especially during the fallout of a major stressors or disaster like the fires that ravaged the Los Angeles area.
Common Forms of Self-Care
Hiking
Meditating
Reading
Journaling
Practicing yoga
Taking relaxing baths
Spending time in nature
Engaging in creative activities (e.g., painting, crafting)
Listening to music
Cooking or baking
Practicing mindfulness
Getting a massage
Spending time with pets
Disconnecting from technology
Taking care of routine health maintenance
Working with mental health provider
Finding a support group
Importance of Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers
Taking care of yourself, even when there are numerous responsibilities, is critical. This applies to parents caring for children, adults caring for the sick or elderly, or concerned neighbors helping others in the community. While others may depend on guidance, support, and caregiving, the stronger the base, the better the system. Self-care does not mean neglecting others or devoting all time and energy to oneself. Rather, it is a reminder that personal well-being should not be overlooked in the equation of allocating time, energy, and devotion.
Overcoming Guilt Associated with Self-Care
Some individuals feel guilt or are concerned that it is selfish to tend to their mental and physical health during a crisis. However, this misconception overlooks the many prosocial and adaptive benefits of self-care during challenging times. If a person is stressed and unable to sleep, think, breathe, or eat well, their ability to help others is compromised. Stressed individuals who neglect their health can struggle with clear thinking, lack the capacity to care for others in distress, and be hindered by negative emotional states and burnout. Self-care is not selfish; it is essential for effectively supporting those around you. It also serves as a powerful model for others, demonstrating that taking care of oneself is healthy and productive.
The Impact of Parental Support on Children
Studies have shown that there are lower rates of PTSD in children whose parents are attentive and supportive following a disaster, such as the LA fires. It is challenging to be attentive and supportive to others if you are not doing okay yourself.
Seeking Support from Professionals and Community
Lean into family, friends, community, and professional services if needed. Working with an experienced psychotherapist can help navigate the competing demands individuals face, making the process feel a little less overwhelming. Big feelings and anxieties can arise when making difficult decisions and sacrifices for yourself and others. Psychotherapy can help you achieve a greater sense of clarity and peace in your decision-making. Seeking help is often viewed as a vital form of self-care.
Get Help from Our Ficus Psych Clinicians
Our Ficus Psych clinicians are here to help you navigate these challenging times and prioritize your well-being.
***Disclaimer
The content provided in this blog post is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychiatric advice or case specific expert opinion. It is not a substitute for professional evaluation, diagnosis, opinion, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health issue. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.
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